Archive for November, 2013


Senator Diane J. Savino (from the 23rd Senate District in the New York State Senate) argues from the heart about why marriage laws need to be equal for all peoples.
She is inspiring and thought provoking, and she says it so well that I won’t other to write on it anymore, just watch the video!

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Back on track, I have to answer my English class question (I’ll be posting two this week), What do I find most helpful and problematic about social media? 

There are many benefits, as well as some definite downsides, social media is just a tool though, so it all depends on how you use it.

Pros:  I travel a lot, I meet a lot of people, and I like to keep in touch with as many as possible, I even write old fashion letters to a few people, but that is outdated, slow, and takes time from our already busy schedules.  With Facebook and Twitter (or even this blog) I can keep in touch with an infinite amount of people, all with the click of a mouse.  I can update people on my whereabouts, my adventures, I can post pictures and tag old friends, I can meet new people and stay up to date with old friends.  I can create a birthday event and instantly have people invited to my party.  I can create a fan page and have people follow my books or my writings, honestly the possibilities are pretty endless.

There are some snags however.

Cons:  One of the major problems with social media is the fact that even if people aren’t commenting or “liking” your posts or pictures, many people will still read what you have to post, and falsely believe that they are current with your life.  The problem with that is then that people stop feeling the need to talk to one another, instead just scrolling back through someones “wall” and “catching up” rather than ask about specifics.  Another major issue, my biggest pet peeve, is that with the instant results of the internet, people are now finding less and less time to hang out with one another, and meet face to face.  I ask to go out to coffee with friends three or four times a week, and maybe one of those will happen.  it is sad really.

It really all matters on who you use your instruments, in this case social media.  Are you going to use it to gossip and talk behind others backs, or are you going to post inspirational and uplifting messages?  The choice is yours, but for me having the use of social media is a great thing.   

I came on here today to write my next blog for my English class, but instead I have turned my attention momentarily to something I feel very passionate about.

I clicked on a “homosexual” tag and it brought up an article by The Young and The Restless Catholic, entitled “Are you born gay, or do you choose to be gay?”

The link to that article is here, and my response is below.

 

I believe that it easy to misunderstand homosexuality if it isn’t something you have dealt with yourself, or if you don’t have a very close gay friend or sibling willing to let you in on all the messy and confusing thoughts. I have tried to explain myself to straight friends and they can’t seem to grasp what I am saying. I open my mouth, and already my gay friend understands.
I do not know David Bosen, I have never met him, but I have met and read about plenty of men that have “Left Homosexuality.” For a long time I thought that I could do it too. I did all the right things according to my religious upbringing, but nothing, no one, nada could change me. I started looking into the men that had supposedly changed, and I found a load of bull.

It took me years to accept myself, and start to grow beyond the bigotry of my upbringing. When you deny homosexuality to yourself you are suppressing a part of who you are.  And that comes with dire consequences. Sure people can not act on those homosexual feelings anymore, but the thoughts will never leave. If I were to walk past Mr. Bosen today (again I don’t know him, but I know plenty like him), I guarantee I would catch his eye.

When you suppress part of who you are, you can never really, truly, be you. And if you can’t really be you, then who are you? What are your likes and dislikes? Those things are all decided by the environment in which you reside, and though you may claim to like something, pretend to like something, maybe even convince yourself you like something, all you are doing is putting up a facade, wearing a mask.  This is detrimental to your health, especially when you are young and impressionable.

Think of it like this.  Everyone has a favorite color, maybe we don’t think of it like that anymore now that we are adults, but there is a color that sticks out to each and everyone of us, that turns our faces just a little when we scan over it.  For me, my favorite color is green, specifically forest greens or antiqued greens.  Whether I am looking at wall paints, toe nail polish, or a dress, those colors always catch my eye.

Now, suppose growing up you loved green.  Everything about it, the warm earthy tones, the comforting shades, the calming sensations, but your parents and friends all told you that the color green was evil.  Deep down, inside, you know that you love that color, but you trust the people around you, so you try to not think about green, you try to force yourself to like blue or purple instead, but you dream in green.  You are torn up, to everyone around you it appears as if you are fine, but deep down inside you HATE the colors blue and purple, all you want is to sleep in a green room.  You feel guilty, your religion and god tell you that to like the color green means you go to hell.  You pray, you read, you cry out, nothing seems to work.  It must be you, you must not be doing something right, you just have to try harder, work harder, pray harder.  You reach the end of your rope.  You like green, you know that, you can’t deny that, but you know that that means you will go to hell.  You grow sick and tired of pretending to like the other colors of the rainbow, none of them bring you the comfort that green does.  You have two choices, the first) continue to live as you are, suppressing your love of green, and live in a blue world, and pretend to be okay with it, but be secretly miserable, or second) call it quits.  You have tried to stick it out, you have prayed for change, you have sought help, but nothing works.   It has now been years and years that you have been denying your true love, and it has destroyed you inside.  No longer do you see the world as wondrous and beautiful, a planet to be explored, but as a hell hole.  A place where people that don’t like the color green grow and thrive, while you and those like you deny and suffer, a self inflicted punishment wrought by the believe that you are inherently not good enough.  Struggle with that long enough, and even the most life loving individual would take the plunge off the deep end.

That may be a very innocent, or maybe naive analogy, but it gets to all the points pretty simply.  To deny who you are, is to destroy yourself.

Ironically, my religious background taught that to let go and give to god was to have freedom and relief, a fresh start, however, I didn’t find those things till I let go and trusted myself, turning my back on my past.

I never used to believe I was good enough, I believed I deserved to be punished, and in fact should be punished.  From small things like being proud on a particularly good exam (pride), to feeling guilty if I didn’t help a friend even if I was busy (selfishness), to fantasizing about a male teacher (lust and homosexual thoughts, double wammy).  Once I stopped using the old standard of judging myself, and allowed my mind to open, I realized that those feelings are human!  I wasn’t a terrible human being for feeling or doing those things, I was simple being human.

Now that is not to say that I am now a prideful, selfish, lustful homosexual, I just don’t belittle and berate myself for having those occasional issues.  I believe in balance, karma if you will, be good to others and others will be good to you.

Freeing myself from my old standards has opened my eyes, shown me (once again) the wondrous and beautiful planet in which I live on, that is waiting to be explored.  I now believe that I am good enough (there is a drastic difference between arrogance and confidence), I believe that I am a good person, and I don’t deserve to be in misery and pain, and I now believe loving another man can be a beautiful thing.